All day I have been hearing news reports of how badly the elderly are cared for in hospital. Yesterday I arrived at my weekly appointment at a care home to provide the ladies with a relaxing hand massage to find one of my regulars missing. When I made enquiries as to her whereabouts I was told she was in her bedroom. I went to find her so she did not miss out on her weekly treat only to find her very agitated. She said she had been joking at the dinner table and was told to apologise to another resident for her comments. When she refused she was told she would be sent to her room. She told me how she had laughed and said they were treating her like a child and she wouldn't be spoken to like that by anyone. She took herself off to her room without eating her lunch. She said she was hungry and looking forward to her tea and biscuits. She said she was waiting for her son to come in and then she would be leaving.
I begun to massage her hands and soon she was relaxed and laughing. After I had finished the massage she sat holding my hand talking.
Being in care homes the elderly are often touch deprived. The direct approach of massage can help them relax, reduce anxiety and they are less likely to be depressed. The few minutes I spent with this lady helped her calm down and when I left she cheerfully said "see you next week" so I am guessing she wouldn't be asking her son to help her leave.
Touch is the first sense we develop in the womb and the last sense we use before death. So if you are visiting an elderly friend or relative remember how much touch means to them and how much they may miss it, just holding their hand can mean so much.
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